My old best friend who kinda fucked me over is in the band Heyrocco. This band has gotten much more well known. So well known in fact, they are playing with Civil Twilight tonight. I put this band almost as up there as Radiohead. And if you pay any tad bit of attention to me, you would know that’s a huge ass deal. Oh, and it’s in our state, two hours away. And they have articles about them and fan girls now…
Excuse me while I bang my head against the wall….
I feel completely stuck right now. Everyday is the same, no real adventure, no real hopes of getting my own place, being on my own, having freedom. I hate it, it puts me in this horrid mood and I become the most boring person ever. I’m no fun to be around, I barely talk. I feel bad for my girlfriend cause she has to deal with this. Then it starts making me paranoid that she’ll get bored of me. Like, I’m with her and feel like I should just be alone cause I’m boring, but then I’m alone and I’m still boring, but turn extremely clingy and feel even more like shit and want her to come back. I’m not always like this, I swear I’m not. I need to get away, have adventures, be free, find art, music, get lost, kiss a lot, fuck a lot, live. Put me in this cage of nothingness and I lose it. I get mad at everything lately, jealous of everything and everyone, complain, it’s fucking pathetic. I mean. I know one thing isn’t helping… and it’s probably a big contributing factor of me being like this. But ehh…. Bonnaroo is coming up soon, that’ll put me in a whole other exciting world. Though I can already see me getting upset over certain things and drama starting. Coming back to my current situation will suck, but maybe the trip will lighten my mood. Ugh, I can’t even text or talk to anyone. I don’t say anything. My mind is blank. I’m boring as shit. I’m surprised I’ve even found the words and thoughts to type this down. But it’s basically all I’ve thought about lately. How shit and boring my life is. Okay, positives. I’m going to Bonnaroo. I’m going to Warped Tour. I’m most likely going to Music festival in Atlanta. I’m probably getting a job at a Boutique downtown. I can start saving. I can get a car soon. I can move out soon with the best friend and girlfriend. I can go to school in August. Maybe I’ll meet my other bestest friend at the end of this year. We can have adventures. Our own Christmas in our apartment. Things get better. And maybe the one thing that isn’t helping will change. Okay, this is just a rant of random thoughts. I don’t know what to do to cheer me up. Someone come help me. =/ Please.
